I would never do porn.
If I
ever did porn the only reason would be is that there isn't enough
Jewish representation in porn. You know what my slogan would be? "Slap
my toocus!"
The
politically correct
word
for "midget" is "little person" which I think is so funny because it's
the only politically correct word that is actually more offensive. They
would much rather prefer (like talking to a baby)
"yes you are!"
I'm
so not racist. I'm
dating
a guy who is half-black who is totally going to break my heart. Oh god,
that sounds so pessimistic. He's half-white.
I
dated a Mexican once,
but I had to end it. After every time we had sex I'd have diarrhea for
like a week.
Kids
need motivation to
win. I
tell my neice every time she loses at playing tag, an angel gets AIDS.
And you know what? She wins.
I
was raped by a doctor
which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.
American
Airlines could
have scored a marketing coup by proclaiming itself "First Through the
Towers."
My
niece is 7 years
old. She
came out of the closet and announched she's a lesbian. Which I think is
great but my sister punished her for it. No p*ssy for a month.
My
niece came home from
Hebrew
school and said Hitler killed 60 million Jews. I told her no, it was 6
million Jews. She said "Oh, 6 million, but really what's the
difference? " I told her 60 million is unforgiveable.
My
grandmother smells.
Every day it seems to be getting worse and worse. But, she's dead.
Last
week my sister was
with two guys. She could hardly walk the next morning. Yea, two dinners.
I
was born in New
Hampshire. I only lived there until I was 18 so I don't really remember.
My
boyfriend is a tough
guy.
He'll come home and say "I'm going to rip you a new one", which I don't
think is very romantic during sex.
I
don't wear much
jewelry but
there is this one jewel that I want. It's really rare and it's only
found on the tailbone of Fujean babies. They actually have to de-bone
the babies to get it. But if you saw it, it's so worth it.
They
say that a sneeze
is like a little orgasm. If you think about it though it's so true,
minus the farting.
I
love strippers. I'm
actually in stand-up so that I can be a stripper. I wanted to be one
ever since I was molested.
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